the thing called happiness

Midnight's thought Welll he-ya! Here i am again with some abstract yet not-that-important thought at night again. With a bit stomachache, tryin to still write whats currently on my mind. Jadi. ada suatu hal yg cukup membuat gue agak ga percaya akhir2 ini karena for the first time ever since loong so looong time ago i finally got to make and organize a short holiday in malang with my ex and another firends of course. And its maybe the "hikmah" for me because I canceled my plan to watch my boyfie concert so yes, iam finally can save my money for it.  Apa yg bikin gue kaget adalahhh he planned it. He want us to make this holiday happen, and it makes me wonder. What-happen-to-him. Or maybe he just want to fix anything that happened to him with us lately or he just want to make some increadile moment with us since we got an amazing trip at bali. I dunno really but he makes me wonder what-actually-just-happenned-to-him. Gue gatausih apakah ini penting untuk gue...

Dear blogs!!! Finally got to meet you again and it always because i try to talk about the things that i can't talk about it to anyone. Soooo. Akhir2 ini banyak bgt hal yg bikin gue hrs trs disabar2in yg mungkin bagi org lain itu cuma hal sepele, cuma hal yg nanti akan lewat seiring berjalannya waktu. Okay ngomongin ttg waktu, ketika waktu itu ditunggu, bukannya semua akan jd terasa lama? Atau ketika kita coba untuk ikhlas semua akan ga terasa. Idk. Karena pd point ini gue ngerasa gue udh hampir keabisan akal untuk bikin diri gue tetep berpikir positive, dan akan gue jabarkan disini. 1. That financial problem yg ga kunjung usai dan hampir gaada titik terangnya, bahkan gue udh gatau lg gimana caranya gue minta uang sm nyokap ketika gue tau nyokap bener2 lelah untuk mengatur semua keuangan ini. I barely didn't got my personal money from a couple months ago. Dan udh ga beraturan lg uang jajan yg gue dpt itu. Karena setiap gue minta uang cuma ya sedikasihnya aja. Atau emg kalo ada...

Jadi lagi2 gue nulis karena gue gabisa tidur.... Dan mengingat gue ngetik judul post kali ini kaya gt gue jd mau cerita sedikit... Ehm. According to my last post and remember the current video i just watched on youtube about islamic stuffs, and how to face our life. Gue mulai dpt pencerahan yg sebenernya ini adalah sesuatu hal yg emg gue udh ketahuin dr dulu tp. Gue mulai sedikit sadar tadi. Kalo di post gue yg sebelumnya gue lbh ngomongin soal jodoh/percintaan idealisme gue seperti apa. Tp di post yg ini gue mau cerita lbh ke ttg jodoh dlm islam itu sendiri. Jd ceritanya abis nonton beberapa short movie dan dakwah dr salah satu anak pendakwah di negeri ini *ea. Gue merasa kayanya gue perlu untuk ngerasa bersalah akan hal2 yg gue lakuin dulu waktu gue punya pacar atau apapun khilaf yg skrng2 gue lakuin dan open minded gue ttg islam ini cukup menampar. Dmn gue ngerasa jauuuuuuh msh jauuuuuh bgt dr seorang muslimah yg sempurna. Pemikiran gue ttg pacaran jg sepertinya salah walaupun gue ...

When i tried to reach the things that i wanted in life it  always took a long time. But at the end its somehow end up sastisfied. Well its just "a thing" not a whole things in life. I believe that work hard could make a big energy that will build up and make everything that you wish for happen, then suddenly i think that is the circle of life. If you work hard a fortune will come to you. Did you think that time will worth the wait? Just like the stuffs you want sooooo bad but you spend your money on it after you save your money. But not in all the things in life i belive will worth the wait or i just feel that is a kind of fortune like maybe its a destiny from god. Just like love. Or carrer. Okay lets talk about a lucky love life. I heard so many stroies about true love and a lucky love seems to be so hard to get in it. Like i mean youve got your love too soon and you getting married with the one who u dated the last. But how if the case is you need a long time to see wh...

Well firstly i want to thanks god about having such a lovely friends around me its start when i was in jhs till college and they make my life  more brighter. I always convince myself that if i have them in my life, my life would be easier. Is that you guys think so about me? Or its only me who think that youre as precious as i thought. Well i dont want to make this complicated, but recently i feel like friendship are going to be really hard each day. Hard to keep them always around you. Like you're not that important to them :( i feel sad and i feel so unacceptable :( like im not someone's priority not anymore :( And its starts when my long holiday coming.... And somehow i think that maybe i feel sad bcs i dont have any activity to do and feel so bored then i plan such a pretty big holiday with some of my friends. Its starts from my jhs friends, shs friends, and college friends. But everything that we planned (or its only me) failed. And theres so much reason for it for each...

Well it has nothing related to my old post yg super labil ituuu cause now im gonna share about my recently activity (well its not a physically activity) its make up. YES. Every woman favourite activity to do. And im gonna say that yes. I admit. I start to concern more about make up. Why? Idk. I feel like maybe im not a professional bcs i just did some of superbb easy make up everyday look just like "no make up make up" every beauty vlogger have to post. Yup. I want smoothin my everyday no make up make up look. Bcs this is basically super easy make up every woman have to know and practicing. Ok why im gonna talk about this? Bcs i feel like im mature enough to know this basic knowledge about make up. Bcs maybe i will need this somehow or its literally what womans do. Turn into indonesia Awalnya gue pikir gue bakal ya tetep make up biasa aja you know? Yg gapake countur or even bronze (karena gue emg gabisa) dan 1 lagi kekurangannya, gue gapunya uang untuk beli berbagai maca...

Well the final exam is FINALLY over and i didnt expect so much except me pass all of the subject honestly i didnt too satisfied with my work....... So far. Bcs idk i feel like when im in a class and then the lecture came i show up that i listen to what they said so me with my confident really sure that i didntt have to make such effort over and over again to finally learn all of the subject to meet the final exam. you know what? its REALLY TIRING really, like i have to study so many subject and i have a not so long term capacity to remember all of the subject all of the stuffs bcs theres so much things on my mind too. And i know my capabilities so im not really take effort in final exam and idk its only my reason bcs im so lazy or thats the real reason why i didnt make myself study hard. idk really im tired with accounting and finance and stuff like that, since im in college all of the subject were talking about money meanwhile i dont have money and i realize i count "money gh...